Category Archives: reconciliation

How to Pray for People in Power: Especially Ones We Disagree with Deeply

October 12th, 2022 | Dr. Charlie Self

Devout Christians and thoughtful people of all worldviews are aware that there is genuine conflict between good and evil in our world. At the same time, these forces find their way into human hearts and we see contradictory impulses in ourselves and others. Compassion for the downtrodden can devolve into control over too many areas of life. Freedom can become anarchistic hedonism. And good and evil are often veiled by political ideology and impulses toward power.

In the midst of real spiritual conflict, we must participate in the public square, make prudential decisions, and be good neighbors with those who differ deeply. There is one resource too often overlooked in our navigation of the rapids of conflict: courageous, fervent, genuine, and humble prayer for the very people we disagree with the most.

When Jesus called his followers to “pray for those who persecute you” (see Matthew 5:43-48), and St. Paul admonished followers of Jesus to, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse” they were not offer good advice for irritating moments – they were commanding a completely different disposition.

How do practice this godly attitude when we feel under assault all the time? What about the prophets who denounced evil and called out abuses of power? Good questions…and both are answered by a posture and practice of intercessory prayer. We forget that the prophets railed against idolatry, immorality, and injustice with tears, calling on God’s people to return to the Lord and have new hearts (Hosea 14). Of course, we stand against the slaughter of innocents through abortion. We must advocate for the marginalized and the voiceless, calling for systemic changes that open opportunities to flourish. But the power for change begins on our knees.

Our Almighty and Holy Lord had decided that our prayers matter as we are invited to join Jesus on his mission of reconciliation and restoration (Isaiah 61; 2 Corinthians 5:11-6:2). Jesus wanted prayer support in Garden of Gethsemane as the Passion reaches its climax in a coming crucifixion (Matthew 26:40-41; Luke 22:39-46). The Apostle Paul appreciated his friend’s prayers as carried out his mission (Philippians 1:19). Where do we start? Here are four insights for our prayers that will change our hearts and be used by the Lord to work in the lives of others.

First, we must turn our anger into active prayer, processing our reactions and choosing blessing over cursing. This is not easy! Every day we hear and see outrageous assertions and events and our first impulse is invective…and frankly, we think they deserve it! But. Changing the world begins with our own hearts and our choices to bless, pray for, and desire the best for those we are most upset with. Starting with our own inner examination of attitudes and motives, we are then positioned for influence.

Second, we are never the arbiter of anyone’s eternal destiny, but we can discern good and evil, renouncing wrong actions and beliefs with a desire for change in those who oppose us. Put simply, we must NOT say, “S/he is a jerk” or “S/he is hopelessly stupid”, etc. We CAN say, “S/he is wrong on this policy” or “I oppose what they are doing” WHILE we pray for them. Historically, this is one key reason President Trump was not re-elected in 2020. Some of his policies were wise and worked well, but his character, especially his personal insults, overtook competence and in reaction, we have our current leadership.

Third, we must believe that God can change hearts. We must desire forgiveness for ourselves and others and affirm that the Lord can redeem even current enemies of the truth. How long has it been since we sincerely prayed, “O Lord, open the eyes of those in power and help them see clearly”? This is more than agreeing with us – it is a deep desire to see all align with God’s kingdom.

Fourth, we must keep on praying, even when the tide rises against us. We may still experience injustice and even overt persecution. The key is being persecuted for humble obedience, not hubris and obnoxiousness! Yes, the public square is unfair and tilted against the truth of Christ. Jesus told us such days would come (John 16). St. Paul also mentioned the inversion and perversion of love and truth that can arise in a hostile world (Romans 1:18-32; I Timothy 4:1-3; 2 Timothy 3:10-13). We do not have a guarantee of worldly success. We do, however, have an eternal hope that animates our current obedience, knowing that all will be well in the end (Romans 8:26-39).

This call for prayer is not a retreat from activism. It is the animating power underneath our pronouncements, the heavenly resource that will strengthen our wise efforts. We love testimonies of transformation as new converts discover liberation in Christ. Will we desire this freedom for all around us?

Our Stories Are Not Finished Yet

March 24th, 2021 | Dr. Charlie Self

The Lenten Season is a period of self-reflection and sacrifice as followers of Christ ponder the obedience of Jesus that led to a Cross and Resurrection, bringing hope and reconciling grace to our weary world. The story of Jesus includes his humble beginnings. It features family life in an artisan’s home. There is a Bar Mitzvah that astounded some learned religious leaders. And then there were quiet years running a business until his early 30s. If the narrative stopped here, it would have been one more story of an anonymous Jewish family in the early first century.

But the full story continues as Jesus begins his public ministry. For more than three years this Rabbi delivers and heals, forgives and reconciles, teaches and demonstrates the love, grace, and truth of God’s kingdom. For his trouble, Jesus is betrayed, arrested, subject to multiple (mis)trials, scourged, crucified, and buried in a borrowed tomb with a 24-hour Roman guard. If the story had ended here, Jesus would have been one more zealous Rabbi and wonder-worker and perhaps classified as a good teacher by some and a pernicious influence by others. (Oh wait…isn’t that how many still see him?)

But the story is only complete on Easter morning as the Lord is raised from the dead in a transformed body still bearing the scars of his atoning death while revealing the ultimate future of all who believe. Easter is not only a promise of eternity, it is a present reality as followers of Jesus receive the Holy Spirit and walk in his pathway of love and humility, offering the same deliverance and healing, forgiveness and reconciliation to all.

And Easter means that all of OUR stories are still being written. Starting right now, our future can be different as we listen more deeply to our Lord, align our hearts and minds with his commands, and join Jesus in his mission. Yes, we may bear the consequences and scars of previous traumas or our own sins. No, we cannot be “anything” we imagine – that is nonsense. But starting today, we can become the best version of the person God created us to be and start doing the good works he designed in advance for us to do. We were created to enjoy God’s presence and fulfill his purpose. As we worship and work, and allow the Lord to refine our character and define our charisms, a better future opens to us – and to the world.

Our stories are not finished until our mortal journeys have ended. And even then, they continue in a new creation. Be encouraged today! Jettison the fatalism and the fantasies, and embrace the Cross. In humility and service, we discover our purpose and find great strength.

The Hinge of Humility: Opening Doors to Wisdom

January 13th, 2020 | Dr. Charlie Self

In our contentious world, persons and parties are competing for attention, which often leads to dueling over which individual or group can be the most outrageous in their assertions. Accusations are followed by belated retractions and oral and written communication is littered with terms like, “alleged” and “some people are saying” and “unnamed sources assert.” One post is picked up by many and soon millions are arguing over dubious data.

What is sorely lacking in most public discourse is the virtue of humility. Humility is not the absence of confidence or fear of others. Humility is a disposition of openness and a willingness to be corrected and refined in our thinking. Humility also looks for the good in others and waters the soil of principled peacemaking and proximate justice.

There are five dimensions of humility that will transform our personal lives and improve our public conversations. The first is humility before the Almighty. Even deeply religious people are prone to pride in their moral virtue or personal accomplishments, acting as if they are doing a favor for God, rather than realizing God’s unmerited favor in underneath any good brought to the world.

The second dimension is humility about ourselves. We are all beautiful and broken, bearing the divine image and ravaged by a fallen world, which includes both our own choices and unwanted traumas. Humility allows us to receive God’s embrace and accelerate our healing and maturity from the inside out. And this growth usually involves the care and love of others.

Third, we need humility for healthy relationships. We need to call for help when things are toxic. And we also need patience as others are learning life lessons. Married couples should aim for the good of their partners. Colleagues and friends can celebrate the success of others without envy. And humility is the foundation of forgiveness and reconciliation.

The fourth dimension is humility about our personal calling or purpose. We can walk with confidence and be well-focused without arrogance or pride. Our destiny in woven together with the good of others – we never succeed alone. Discovering and developing our gifts and skills serve God and others.

Finally, humility informs our daily life of work and engagement on the economy. Every day is an occasion to see our work – paid or unpaid, labor or leadership – as service to God and others. Humility will open doors for advancement as others see our disposition and discipline in deed and word.

Humility is cultivated over time and it leads to inner tranquility and healthier relationships. Above all, the Scriptures remind us that God honors the humble with his grace and presence (Isaiah 55, James 4 and I Peter 5). That is enough.

Rightly Ordered Loves, Part 2: Justice is Social and Racial Peace is Possible

September 17th, 2019 | Dr. Charlie Self

“Social justice” is a loaded term. For liberals and progressives, it is a summative refrain containing their concerns for economic, gender, and racial equity, including much more governmental intervention righting historic wrongs. For conservatives, it has become a byword, representing ideologies and policies antithetical to human freedom and flourishing.

Justice is social! At its root, justice is well-ordered relationships – in business, personal interactions, political policy, and international relations. Justice implies fairness, but it is more than a legal referee. Justice includes access, equity, and opportunity in a civil society containing freedom of conscience and equal rights.

It is time to change our language and simply use the term, “Justice.” As we do, we will find that justice is inseparable from well-ordered loves. The desire for fairness is innate: no one has to teach a child to say, “no fair!” When we see oppression and violence, indignation rises within and we want to protect the innocent and punish the guilty. When we see discrimination, we heartily oppose such practices and want everyone to have opportunity to thrive.

Agape love and true justice are inseparable. Both involve deep reflection on the values and virtues underneath true freedom. Justice without love devolves to legalities without nuance and consideration of the whole person or situation. A sense of affection or compassion without justice becomes diluted mercy that endangers civil order and denigrates personal responsibility.

When we choose agape love and aim for holistic justice, reparations for slavery and Jim Crow move from the temporary redistribution of wealth to transformation of relationships and systems that ensure a better future for all while confronting the past. Banking, food, and job deserts are unacceptable. It is unconscionable that given equal brilliance and empirical data, that a small fraction of venture capital finds its way to African American entrepreneurs.

Justice and love will lead toward racial reconciliation that does not replace one form of hatred with another. Justice and agape love open the doors to fearless self-examination and evaluation of all economic and social systems. Individual iniquity is revealed, and repentance is possible. Institutional injustice is unveiled and repealed. There is hope when we choose a difference vision.