Category Archives: thoughtfulness

Becoming Thoughtful, Part 2

February 11th, 2023 | Dr. Charlie Self

Thoughtfulness is in short supply in our world of instant information and rapid reaction. One influential source shares a headline and suddenly it is everywhere, treated as fact. On closer examination, it may be a mere rumor or a political accusation, but the damage to civility and objectivity is done. We need a new pathway for our minds. In this essay, we will share further insights in a five-step journey toward thoughtfulness. I do not pretend to be the final word on this topic. Hopefully these ideas can assist us toward sanity and a better public square.

The first two steps shared last week include deciding ahead of time not to compromise our timeless moral and spiritual convictions. The second is learning to process our reactions and discover the sources of our feelings and thoughts. Here are three more insights that will help us mature:

The third step in this journey is pursuing good research on the subjects we are concerned about. While we have access to more information than ever, this does not mean we have more knowledge or wisdom. We must consider our sources carefully. Wikipedia must not be our starting or ending place. If the issues we are examining are hotly debated, we should look for the key sources used by both sides and read them carefully. If a particular group is claiming the data is on their side, we can read their supporting studies closely, evaluating the methods and alert to small samples, ideological bias, and circular referencing (when experts quote each other back and forth and disregard dissent). Watch language carefully, especially how questions are asked, the breadth of the surveys, and the depth of historical references. I cannot guarantee that good research will always reinforce our intuitions. In fact, we will often end up with more questions! That is OK, if we are dedicated to the best proximate truth of a matter. We live in a world where individualism and subjectivity are triumphing over careful thinking, so we will feel like an outsider sometimes.

Our fourth step is counterintuitive in a world addicted to immediate information. We must ponder and reflect on the information and issues before proclaiming our ideas publicly. Taking this step allows us to reexamine issues, ask new questions, double-check our facts, and consider the implications of our findings. Again, I am not speaking about obvious virtue or vice, but the debatable, prudential issues that divide us unnecessarily. For example, discovering that toleration does not mean agreement or celebration is liberating. We can have deep differences with our neighbors and still work together for common concerns. Some ideological extremists declare that anything less than celebration is intolerance, even violence. I will never celebrate drag queens reading stories to children. If adults want to dress up and entertain other adults away from vulnerable children, that is a tolerated activity of a pluralistic society. Deep reflection on what we teach children is needed more than ever.

Our final step is presenting responses that build as much consensus as possible. We must not merely retweet our favorite reactions. We must offer the world much more: wisdom arising from reverence before God and respect for other people. On public education, we must offer solutions that uplift everyone and offer our children the best future. People of all faiths or none have an equal concern for the next generation. For really contentious issues, we must aim as reducing incendiary rhetoric and forging alliances leading to principled compromises. We can improve environmental policies without impoverishing the working class. We can reform immigration and welcome millions legally, while securing borders.

“OK, Charlie. This sounds great. But some folks will not debate and discuss or even consider compromise. What do we do then?”

Pray. Yes, really pray for the most contentious and subjective folks to discover God’s grace and the humility that flows from a divine encounter. Plead for God’s mercy and stand firm ready for peacemaking.

Will you join me on this journey? I have to practice these steps almost daily. They keep my heart tender, my head clear, and my hands ready to serve.

Becoming Thoughtful, Part 1

February 6th, 2023 | Dr. Charlie Self

For more than two decades, I have been known to some as a “Messenger to the Thoughtful.” This is not an exclusive club, but an invitation to conversation that is not merely retweeting headlines. My life has been enriched by the insights of many as we have explored serious issues, laughed and wept at the human condition, and sought hope is a world full of anxiety.

Later this year, I will publish a new book, with the working title, Thoughtful, inviting readers to a 40-day journey from unfiltered reactions to thoughtful responses. In these two essays, I want to offer a preview of five key ideas guiding this process. Hopefully, these will be helpful as we process the deluge of data coming at us from all sides (and even from our own imaginations!).

Our first step in the journey to thoughtfulness is deciding ahead of time what foundational convictions we will not compromise. For example, a devout Christian will not waver concerning the authority of the Bible, the truthfulness of Jesus death and resurrection, and the need for all to find salvation in Christ. There is much room for prudential diversity and interpretation, but God’s commands are not suggestions and the truth of Christ crucified and risen is not up for debate, apart from kind and thoughtful interfaith dialogues. This step also includes essential moral axioms that are not subject to the whims of culture, from integrity to sexual sanity, true equality of all people, and deep concern for the vulnerable.

Our second step is processing our reactions to circumstances and the news of the day. We will have reactions, and many will not be pretty! Our first reactions are not sinful, IF we then process them well. There are some public figures we endure, and others we enjoy. Sometimes we hear ideas and recoil, thinking, “How can anyone believe that?!” We must take a moment before responding publicly (apart from lamenting tragedies and joyful celebrations), and ask why we are responding in certain ways. Sometimes we are feeling deep moral outrage at injustice. We should not apologize for this, even though our responses must be measured. Sometimes our emotional reaction is personality preference or irritation…and in these cases, we must pause (and pray for them) before responding. Some reactions come from deeper places, including subconscious and unconscious influences. For example, a story of abuse and violence will touch all of us, but a victim will feel it more acutely.

Processing reactions can be instant, or it can take time. But it is vital for our emotional health and for our eventual contributions to the culture. So much public discourse is infected with reactionary and repetitive nonsense. We must live in the opposite spirit and pursue the good, even if it means swimming upstream.

Deciding ahead of time and processing reactions well are first steps toward a life of thoughtfulness that will help us and others thrive. Next week we will explore three more steps that will help us contribute to the common good.

A Special Update and Invitation from Dr Charlie Self

April 18th, 2022 | Dr. Charlie Self

Dear friends and readers,
It has been too long since I have posted. We have been in several transitions with family (two new grandbabies – Yay!) and work (I am advising, authoring two books, speaking and teaching and looking for more opportunities since leaving Made to Flourish as of November 1, 2021), so my focus has been on several arenas other than my own website.

In the coming weeks, my co-authors and I will publish a new book: Life in 5-D that will transform how the church and thoughtful people see Christian discipleship and personal wholeness. This work is rooted in the Discipleship Dynamics Assessment ™ that is gaining momentum among leaders and organizations (see the site here: www.discipleshipdynamics.com). The pandemic and accelerating cultural changes are demanding a reimagining of discipleship and mission for the local church, Christian ministries and thoughtful followers of Jesus. We covet your prayers as the editing and layout are completed.

The second book, Thoughtful, will be published later this year and represents twenty years of observation and reflection, research and writing. In this book, I present a four-step pathway from reaction to response as we navigate life, social issues, and living peaceably with deep differences in a contentious culture.

I am preparing TED-style talks based on both books and I believe these works will help bridge many divides as well as call people to a flourishing life found in Christ.

Here is my invitation: Will you consider doing three things that will help our mission?

– First, will you pray for us? This is not a cliché – it is the fuel of all effective work for our Lord.

– Second, will you please share your thoughts on issues you desire me to cover in in future blogs and books? I do not want to be answering questions no one is asking! You can email me directly at drcharlieself1959@icloud.com.

– And third, will you consider a gift that will help all this happen? Please note the “support” button on the website. We need patrons that believe in this mission of flourishing and thoughtfulness. Your gifts are tax-deductible and will help us serve many organizations and leaders that lack funds for contracts.

Our current cultural conflicts center around three issues: 1) A lack of reverence before the Almighty and the crafting of idols to suit our pleasures, with erotic passions displacing unselfish love. 2) Deliberate perversion what it means to be humans made in God’s image and created male and female. We will address this dehumanizing vision head-on in future posts. 3) A crisis of knowledge as people refuse to debate issues with civility, banning or canceling those that diverge from their preferred narratives.

Thank you, thoughtful friends for caring deeply and working decisively for the common good. Easter is the reason I am hope-filled and I trust you will find peace and renewal as you ponder the victory of the resurrection of Jesus.

Out of Disappointment Comes Determination

March 17th, 2021 | Dr. Charlie Self

People of conscience and thoughtfulness in both political parties are at a crossroads. The events of January 6^th and the recent policies of the new administration are troubling many. The legacy of the previous administration was deeply tarnished and the promises of unity and amicable dialogue of the new folks in Washington are remain unfulfilled. Power and punishment, rancor and reaction dominate the public square and there is utter disregard for any fiscal restraint.

Out of the deep disappointment of this moment is an opportunity for a new determination for people that care about the common good and want all Americans engaged in helping their neighbors flourish. Beginning the week of April 5, I will introduce a nine-part series, “The Way Forward.” I will outline pathways of progress on the most challenging issues of our time. Until then, the focus of this essay and the two that will follow will be on the changes in us that provide the soil from which creativity and innovation thrive.

Here are seven “decide ahead of time” choices that help us face the world with confidence and humility, hope and courage.

First, we stop lying to ourselves. We must own the areas of self-deceit that capture our hearts and minds.
Second, with our new found humility, we now own our personal choices and get the help we need so that any lingering victim-hood recedes and is replaced by empowerment.
Third, while we engage in the political process, we realize that we do not elect messiahs. Some emotional/mental distance from political soundbites will improve our health.
Fourth, we choose pathways that help us befriend people very different from ourselves and learn from their sufferings and triumphs.
Fifth, we own our historical narratives – all of them. We reject nostalgia and cynicism and recognize the good and the evil in human hearts and social systems.
Sixth, we do not wait for government programs to help others in need. Our churches, daily work, local charities, and many other venues offer ways of concretely changing lives.
Seventh and supremely, we must return to God in awe and reverence and stop making ourselves the center of the universe. When we follow the way of Christ – a life of service that will include suffering infused with love and hope – we find all our best and deepest longings fulfilled.

Will we spend less time scrolling and more time praying? Will we stop reacting with clenched fists and begin responding with open hands? It all begins with each of us and the choices we make each day.

Becoming Thoughtful in a World of Emotionalism

September 29th, 2020 | Dr. Charlie Self

We need a rediscovery of thoughtfulness in a world afflicted by a “dearth of depth and surfeit of superficiality.” (John Blanchard). The immediacy of experiences and information inflate human arrogance and make everyone a pseudo-expert. We have three tyrannies working: 1) experts competing for power; 2) the ubiquity of information that people confuse with true wisdom; and 3) a public square paralyzed by polarization that devolves into personal alienation instead of civil debate and learning.

We live in a world of instant information. This can be deceptive, because access to data and opinions is not the same thing as accurate information or insight. The other phenomenon is that a rumor or storyline is repeated so often that it becomes “fact” in the minds of many. And when it is later found to be partially or wholly untrue, a belated retraction cannot undo the damage to public knowledge. Information flows, but insight leading to integration of thought and practice is harder to find.

It is time for biblical thoughtfulness, for a fresh understanding of what the Apostle Paul refers to as the transformed mind of the follower of Christ. Romans 12:1-2 and Ephesians 4:22-24, building on the foundations of OT wisdom literature and the instructions of Jesus, offer hope for inner transformation leading to practical actions that honor God and serve our neighbors. The key word in both passages is transformation. The word is metamorphosis in the Greek and its underlying meaning denotes total change, reorientation, and a new mind.

Instead of unreflected and unfiltered reactions to life, here is a summary of a pathway to thoughtfulness:

We receive events, inputs, inner intuitions and thoughts that create and refine the “lenses” through which we understand our world. We all have conscious and unconscious influences that affect our thinking. The thoughtful person recognizes these and takes time to absorb (not repress or suppress) the experiences.
Instead of reacting immediately, we reflect on our feelings and thoughts and pause before saying or writing things we might regret.
This reflection is then united with research, with the goal of understanding the different perspectives on the issues at hand.
Receiving, reflecting, and research are all done subject to God’s revelation found in his two books. The first is Holy Scripture. Our question must always be, “How does God’s Word speak to this experience or issue directly or indirectly? The second book is God’s common grace or natural revelation. This consists of the best empirical and rational thinking in various fields.
Finally, the thoughtful woman or man responds to the situation with as much grace and truth as possible.

May we be people of reflection and research, submitting to revelation and responding with love and wisdom in a world awash with emotionalism and irrationalism.