Category Archives: gender

A Vintage Essay on Toleration

October 4th, 2023 | Dr. Charlie Self

Five years ago, I posted these words on Facebook and other locales. All the same problems remain, for reasons enumerated last week. I share this again so we can see that the fight for virtue-based liberty is never done. I want for all others the freedoms I desire for myself. Here is the essay:

Dear California legislators,

In your zeal to condemn conversion therapy and ban resources that suggest LGBTQ+ folks could be led toward “hetero-normative” identity (AB2943), you are creating a less tolerant world. I think many of you mean well, but there are some future consequences if your ideology wins:

Will you ban resources and speech from Muslim communities that welcome converts and encourage traditional roles?

Will you condemn conservative and orthodox Jews for their teachings?

Will you reject other cultural and religious groups that do not share your fluid views on gender?

Oh, one more thing…if one’s identity is chosen and fluid, what can’t someone decide (without coercion) to be straight after a season of gay or bi identity?

Toleration does not mean agreement. I do not want a return to any prior eras and I will defend liberty of conscience/religion, lifestyle and speech for those I disagree with. It is easy to attack the religious traditions that birthed the liberties we enjoy.

It is more virtuous to keep the public square open for real debate and learn living with our deepest differences with civility and respect. Building a future of friendship and cooperation across cultures and ideologies requires love and patience, humility and openness.

Let’s choose full inclusion instead of creating new echo chambers.

What Lies Beneath, Part Four: Recovering True Toleration and Public Ethics

September 30th, 2023 | Dr. Charlie Self

“You are intolerant!” “Your words are triggering and encourage violence.” “You are killing people with your beliefs!” These are just a few of the phrases used by social media “influencers” to shut down free speech and reasonable debate. The same groups excoriate anyone defending the unborn and the aged, and they scream, “keep your laws off my body” as they desire abortion-on-demand, “gender-affirming care’ for children, and access to locker rooms and prisons for people for the opposite biological sex.

In other settings, we have Islamic radicals calling on democracies to punish any criticisms of their religion, and banning visual art concerning Mohammed. There are many locales in Western Europe and a few new ones in the USA where non-Muslims are unwelcome and subject to harassment.

There are also some fringe alt-right groups that peddle racism, theocracy, and xenophobia. A decade ago, a person said to me at a conference, “America went downhill once Ellis Island let in all those Eastern Europeans.” As I tried to recover from the shock, he doubled down and complained about every significant minority group of the last 200 years. I directly, firmly, and kindly said that this was racist and evil, and the opposite of America’s founding principles. I am still shaken by such blatant group hatreds.

What lies beneath all of these narratives is a historical inversion of the meaning of toleration. For context, let’s consider the historical trajectory of toleration, especially, but not exclusively in the West:

By 1700, after centuries of religious and political warfare, some states begin tolerating peaceful, non-conforming groups while still supporting a state religion.
By the 1800s, with the influence of the founders and framers of the USA, and some of the aspirations of other European thinkers, freedom of conscience and religion is seen as the first freedom and essential for human flourishing.
By the mid-1900s, most Western nations have removed all barriers to peaceful religious exercise and people of all faiths or none shared equal citizenship rights.
By 2000, even groups previously marginalized for their racial and sexual identities are now equals de jure (under the law), even while still pursuing de facto access and opportunities in society.

This is progress! Living peaceably with radically different worldviews, political opinions, and moral visions is what true liberty is all about.

Today, we see that extremist voices demand that toleration be redefined as celebration and anything less than agreement with their narratives and visions are reasons for cancellation, derision, and, in some cases, legal actions and physical violence.

We need to define toleration as the maturity to respect and cooperate with people that see the world very differently than we do.

If we get toleration right, public ethics can be approached thoughtfully as we decide the answers to these three questions:

What actions and values will we prohibit because they are inherently wrong and/or proven to be deleterious to a safe and sane world? Heretofore, most civilized lands have protected children from a variety of influences (alcohol, tobacco, drugs, exposure to pornography, and much more), that adults can peaceably pursue. We have also declared several actions verboten, rooted in the ethos of almost every civilization: murder, theft, physical violence, etc. The questions before us today are vital: will we protect children from work and sex slavery? Will we continue to demand that some things are only for adults? Can people of conscience together declare that some things are off-limits?
What actions and values will we permit in a very diverse society? We already agree that freedom of conscience/religion is the first freedom. Will we continue to protect free speech even when debate opponents are uncomfortable? Will we fearlessly seek the truth of matters or be censured by disinformation panels? Can we live with differences and not coerce celebration? I want everyone to share my Christian faith – voluntarily! And I will defend the right of my neighbors to build peaceably their religious communities, arrange their lives differently, and seek my conversion to their thinking.
Finally, what are we supposed to promote as a free and virtuous society? Will we support biological, blended, adoptive, and foster care families as the preeminent educators of children? Will we call on parents to take responsibility for their children and stay engaged financially and personally if possible? Will we foster personal agency and social responsibility, entrepreneurial creativity and the common good? Will we promote true toleration, aiming for hearts of love and respect for all people, while also protecting ourselves from genuine evil?

Friends, becoming thoughtful about these matters is not a luxury for a few. It is a moral necessity for future generations.

What Lies Beneath, Part Three: Being Human

September 20th, 2023 | Dr. Charlie Self

I have written often about two of the crises afflicting our world. The first is anthropology: the meaning of being human, and within this, being male and female. The second is epistemology: the nature of knowing and the search for truth. We are in a moment where elites are demanding new definitions of humanness and upending any objective assessments of biological sex.

As a historian, I teach my students that many challenges and trends we think are new are really old ideas and practices dressed up in new clothing. Sexual license, sex role reversals in pagan worship and parties, and questioning moral traditions are all found in a variety of ancient civilizations.

But today’s gender anarchy is unprecedented in a couple of ways. One, we are living in the first moment of global history where relationships that do not produce the next generation are given equal standing in law and society. Homosexual behaviors and relationships are not new; however, the notion that they are equal to marriage is brand new. I am not advocating for intolerance or “going back to the good old days.” Permitting adults to organize their lives in a variety of ways is part of a pluralistic world. But toleration is not celebration and deeply held moral and religious convictions must not be ignored. Two, the metastasizing of genders is brand new and the idea that one can simply change their gender and/or sex is subverting biological reality, social convention, and the created order.

It is interesting that those who reject their biological sex and affirm one of a hundred new identities are called, “courageous” while those that leave the anarchy for their biological identity and choose heterosexual normativity are called, “brainwashed.”

What lies beneath this inverted and perverted thinking is a narcissistic and solipsistic ideology that makes each individual their own deity. Ironically, the young people “rebelling” against “cisgender normativity” are in fact conformists to social media contagion. Objective truth is thrown out the window. Centuries of evolutionary biology and scientific research are tossed aside and obscure studies from academic echo chambers are cited as evidence of a gender or sexual spectrum.

When I was pursuing my education (at two centers of radical thinking: the University of California at Santa Cruz and the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley, CA), “gender as a social construction” meant that we should not stereotype boys and girls, women and men, and make sure that all people have access and opportunity. Questioning traditional roles of men and women in society was NOT repudiating biological sex or promoting mutilation of minors. The most radical gay activists (with a few exceptions) of the 1970s-2000s did not deny their maleness or femaleness…they argued for the right to follow their attractions. For decades I have worked with all people of conscience to make a way for women and men of all cultures, classes, and lifestyles to have equal opportunities.

All this progress is being subverted by gender anarchists bent on destroying any objective truth about the human condition. Thoughtful people must NOT be insensitive to true body dysphoria and the deep emotional needs of emerging adults. There is no place for bullying and being unkind to anyone. We must, however, truly follow the science, the wisdom of the ages, and common sense and reaffirm that:

Most people are biologically male or biologically female.
Men and women have more in common that what is disparate, so there is a spectrum of personalities and proclivities, while each person remains male or female.
We must not allow any medical procedures on minors that alter chemistry or permanently destroy healthy body parts.
We must expand and improve psychiatric care for those struggling in their bodies.
We must reaffirm the parental authority vis a vis the educational systems, social media, and other pressures calling for children to reject their essential identity.
Adults have the right to order their lives and relationships in a variety of ways free from fear.
Disagreement on ideas and moral choices is not intolerance, and the deeply held ethical and religious beliefs of billions of people must be considered as we aim for a free and virtuous society.

Let’s walk in kindness, love, and the pursuit of truth in the company of friends

What Lies Beneath, Part Two: Education, Families, and Our Future

September 13th, 2023 | Dr. Charlie Self

For decades, leaders from all political parties have stressed the importance of strengthening families and addressing the crises of fatherlessness, poverty, and loss of hope. We must continue work in these areas, bringing people of all cultures and social domains together for the good of future generations. We have also seen huge steps forward for minorities and women in all sectors of the economy and society, though there is still much work ahead so all can flourish.

Events in recent years are undermining all the progress we have made and render the aforementioned concerns hollow at best. Gender extremists, representing a miniscule percentage of the population, but fueled by big pharma and social media, are now demanding that young children be indoctrinated and sexualized by educators that reject the biological family, affirm Marxist ideology, and believe that anything goes when it comes to sexual experimentation and identity. The apotheosis of this civilization-destroying ideology is the recent lawsuit filed by the Attorney General in California against the Chino School District.

District officials, in keeping with trends in other states and several European nations, wanted parents informed about their childrens’ decisions to alter their names, gender identity, and personal pronouns. Please note that these leaders were NOT rejecting toleration or kindness, and even exposure to what I think are ideas best left to the family. They just wanted to keep parents in the loop! The reason for the lawsuit is concern for the “welfare of marginalized students” who need “safe spaces” for their “expression.” Right now, parents must approve of any medications for their kids and sign permission slips and waivers for a variety of activities…EXCEPT when it comes to abortion services and gender identity! Of course, any child subject to violence must be protected.

What lies beneath these actions are complete disdain for the biological family, recruitment of vulnerable children into a future of medical dependency, and a public school system more concerned with radical ideology that with the essential education for the complex world of the 21^st century. This is more than protecting a few vulnerable kids in need of psychological help so they become comfortable in their bodies. This is a demonic agenda that makes the exception the rule, and the state the arbiter of truth.

Recently in another state, the government would not allow parents to remove their children from exposure to gender and sexuality indoctrination, declaring that exposure to pornographic materials and alternative lifestyles were important and could be corrected at home. Such inanity must be opposed with compassion and conviction.

We can do better. Thoughtfulness demands that we debate these issues with civility, and return final authority to the families, not the state. Every person of any identity or worldview deserves kindness, but toleration is not celebration and primary formation of character rests at home.

We Know Better, Part Two

June 7th, 2023 | Dr. Charlie Self

The majority of people around us glance at headlines, read some favorite posts, and then go about their hard-working days, offering their skills in service of others, providing for their families, and finding moments of community service and leisure when they can. If pressed on some of the blaring headlines, many shake their heads and assume that most people know better than to take “social influencers” and political extremists seriously.

There is one problem with this simplistic view: the shrieking voices are only the front for real people and networks that aim for power over the populace and remaking their world in their image.

We know better…but often feel powerless. Here are some hot issues that seem to have few answers:

Caring for our environment is good and needed, but climate activism is a cover for trillions in wealth transfer from middle-and working-class people to huge autocracies that desire control over food and energy.

The gender anarchy mentioned in last week’s essay is framed as human rights, but the real agenda is the destruction of the nuclear family and government oversight of children.

“White supremacy” does have some adherents, and must be condemned at every turn. Other forms of intolerance are given a pass, however, and pathways to reconciliation and peace are undermined as grievance culture offers no forgiveness, redemption, or hope for an end to hatred.

We know better, and there is a way forward. Here are some principles that thoughtful women and men can embrace with a view to flourishing communities:

First, everyone we meet is created in God’s image and has value. This is the starting point for the mutual love and respect that are essential in a pluralistic society. With very rare exceptions, each is also biologically male or female. This does not limit liberty, but liberates identity.

Second, the pursuit of truth in noble and not merely subjective. Whether it is historical knowledge, scientific research, journalistic inquiry, or critical thinking, humble, relentless pursuit of wisdom is needed. Truth exists outside our perceptions and we will always be building on previous centuries of discovery.

So far, we have touched on essential categories of anthropology (the universals of being human) and epistemology (the nature of knowing).

Third, we can find common virtues and values that help us work for the common good, even as we debate ideologies, philosophies, and religious convictions. Such first principles include freedom of conscience/religion, access to education and economic opportunities, strengthening biological and blended families, and a commitment to universal virtues such as kindness, patience, tolerance, and thoughtfulness.

Fourth, we must reject labeling and libeling persons while we debate serious issues. Reversion to profanities and vulgarities obscures serious inquiry. We must learn to process our reactions and turn them into considered responses. This does not mean turning away from obvious evils.

Fifth, we must reaffirm what is appropriate for children and what is best left to adulthood. Until the last decade, the boundaries were quite clear. Now we see public perversion celebrated and themes that were only for adults being imposed on children. There is no place for grooming, trafficking, and propagandizing vulnerable children and youth.

Sixth, we must start decentralizing federal power in the West and restoring administrative oversight to local and state governments. We need universal ethics but local stewardship that is accountable. We must rediscover subsidiarity – the notion that responsibility begins with the individual in a family, then families in voluntary community (church, synagogue, etc.), then local governance, then state governance, and only as a last resort, federal oversight. We must reverse the Leviathan of central control that has been growing exponentially for the last 100 years.

Seventh, all of the above rest on integration of personal agency, helpful relationships, moral systems, and goodwill. In other words, we must see each other as whole persons in community, with spiritual, emotional, relational, vocational, and economic facets of life woven together. For more of this vision, see our new book, Life in 5D: A New Vision of Discipleship available at www.discipleshipdynamics.com.

We know better. We can do better. There is hope. And today’s deep thinking and disciplined action will build a better destiny for ourselves and all around us.