Category Archives: compassion

Winsome Wisdom in an Age of Anger

October 19th, 2022 | Dr. Charlie Self

People of conscience and conviction who still believe in the pursuit of truth find themselves in a quandary in our age of instant reaction, relativism, and subjectivity. Resisting evil and promoting the good become complex as those who differ from us quickly label and libel, projecting their own inadequacies and subjectivities on others. Adding to this is the abandonment of objective facts and reality. How do we navigate these shark-infested waters of personal relationships and the public square, as we aim for interpersonal harmony and the common good? Here are five insights that have proven helpful over time.

Insight One: We decide ahead of time that our communication will never include personal insults and vulgarity. No matter how ill-treated we are or unfair the accusations hurled against us or those we respect, we will not descend to the lowest level of conflict. Yes, this is really hard. There are some people that open their mouths and instantly we are on edge! We must process our first reactions and choose an opposite disposition.

Insight Two: Before making declarative statements, we ask probing questions aiming to understand what is behind the opinions of those we disagree with. Asking for definitions of terms, essential guiding principles, and what might be the consequences of such thinking are entirely appropriate. Clarifying questions are not confrontational, but sometimes we will be perceived as mean just for asking for definitive answers. Be ready for more challenges here, especially when aiming for the truth of matter. For many, their narrative always triumphs over facts.

Insight Three: We must research the issues from as many perspectives as possible and become familiar with the “groupthink” that overtakes many networks of ideologues. For example, opposing the apocalyptic declarations of climate activists will lead some to call us “deniers” even as the research is quite varied and the most sympathetic scientists do not think our world ends in a decade or a century. Research data must be scrutinized for sample quality and size, as well as the philosophical positions of the researchers and writers.

Insight Four: After asking questions, doing research and deciding ahead of time to be winsome and wise, we pause for reflection and ask this question: How can I communicate what I think (notice this is NOT, “what I feel” if we are dealing with serious issues) in a way that begins building a principled middle ground and leaves room for learning? Just venting feelings or restating our favorite talking points will not change hearts and minds or build the common good. At the same time, we cannot compromise our essential beliefs and principles.

Insight Five: We share our ideas with humility and hope, and accept the fact that no matter how carefully worded, someone will oppose us. This is the price of the pursuit of objective truth as opposed to the anarchistic “my truth.” When I share about environmental stewardship – good ecological practice means a good economy for future generations – and the need to consider the poor and working classes in energy policies, activists will oppose me because I do not hate Big Oil enough or I am unwilling to “pay the price of change.” These are elitist euphemisms covering a callous disregard for those who need reliable energy. We will never please everyone, but perhaps we can convey compassion and concern that makes a difference.

Be encouraged friends! In the long run, love and truth will triumph over hate and subjectivity. Let’s be winsome and wise, and may we will help others find the courage of their convictions and learn this process of thoughtfulness.

December 31: Reflections and Resolutions

January 8th, 2019 | Dr. Charlie Self

Reflections and resolutions are part of the in between moment as we prepare for 2019. Rather than offer self-help palliatives and platitudes, I suggest that we consider history and hope for our community, nation and world. Here are some reflections and resolutions for our local and global communities.

Mr. President, confrontation and personal attacks are not always the best way for promoting policies for all people. Please consider greater conciliation and principled compromise and stop the personal attacks.

Republican and Democratic Congressional Leaders, you can get your revenge or actually legislate. You can investigate for two years or build a legacy of goodness. You can start your Presidential campaigns or actually help your constituents.

Members of the media, your partisan “gotcha!” journalism has only exacerbated tensions. How about serious investigations of facts and explorations concerning solutions instead on one more hit piece?

Friends of conscience and goodwill, we can begin making the world a better place by discussing serious issues with civility and leaving ad hominem attacks at the door. We can renew our neighborhoods and our nations with new partnerships for the common good.

Lust for power is more potent than money and sex. Will we use our positions and privileges to serve or simple aggrandize more authority? Will we remember why we began a pathway of leadership or will we default into self-protective modes?

2019 can be a great year of courage and wisdom, or a terrible year of anger and competition. May we choose well.

Some Wisdom Amidst the Noise, Part 2

April 1st, 2017 | Dr. Charlie Self

As we face personal and community challenges, there is “wisdom from above” that is pure and peaceable and unites love and justice, compassion and empowerment. Here are some more reflections as I listen to God – and that listening is mediated through wise people in my life.

Confusion leads to anarchy and ultimately external control. Clarity leads to accountable liberty and greater personal responsibility. On most issues, ethical/moral clarity is not difficult – it is just demanding.

Reflecting and responding beats reacting and resenting every day.

Instead of castigating former and present leaders, how about constructing new friendships?

Current reactions in our civil conversation are morphing from legitimate dissent to hysterical accusations and perceptions. Instead of anger and violence and quashing voices, how about concrete actions of love and service and policy proposals that have a chance to work? I challenge all parties and groups to think of the common good of all – Black and White, rich and poor, religious and secular.

Grateful for the global church of all ages today: Jewish and Gentile, African and Asian, Near Eastern and Western, in soaring cathedrals and hidden catacombs…from Mt. Sinai to Monte Cassino, from Armenian chapels to American campuses, from bells and incense to freeform dance and song…may their testimonies inspire our fidelity and service.

Choosing contemplation over cynicism, helpfulness over hatred and vision over venom. Such responses are harder than reactions, but so much better for the soul and society.

A Baptism of Tears

July 20th, 2015 | Dr. Charlie Self

Stan Burgess’ delightful source book, Peoples of the Spirit, chronicles gifts and expressions of the Holy Spirit throughout church history. One of the most interesting experiences is what the Eastern Orthodox leaders called, “The Baptism of Tears.”

When the Spirit falls, tears flow.

God hears the laments of his people and records the tears on his scroll (or stores them in his bottle – Psalm 56:8). Tears of repentance cleanse the soul. Tears of rejoicing lift our spirits. Tears of righteous anger propel advocacy for justice. Tears of compassion empower sacrifice for those that cannot return the favor.

North American Christianity needs a baptism of tears.

Instead of polarized invective that tears up apart, we need the tears of divine empathy to unite our hearts. The God of the Bible weeps and laughs, grieves deeply and dances with joy (Jeremiah 8-9; Zeph. 3; Luke 10, 19).

Imagine our conversations with God and each other if we experience a baptism of tears:

We will weep deeply as we confront the racism of Charleston and shed joyful tears as forgiveness triumphs over retaliation.

We will weep hearing the cries of creation as humans despoil the earth and we will cry aloud with delight as gospel hope inspires ecological healing.

We weep in intercession for our neighbors lost without Christ and shed tears of joy as converts are baptized and prodigals discover Abba Almighty waiting for them.

We will weep when a sister or bother suffers and find our eyes moist when healing flows.

This baptism of tears purges hubris and hypocrisy from our hearts. Tears will inspire love for enemies as we realize their need of grace.

There is a time and place for civil, dispassionate debate, inside the church and in the public square. The issues tearing the church and civil society apart, especially the labeling and libeling, the intolerance and entrenched anger, will not be overcome merely with debating points. Evidence and rational thought are needed in our hyperbolic sound bite-driven world. But tears are needed even more.

Tears in our eyes help us hear with our ears what the Spirit is saying as we listen deeply to each other.

Today I am shedding tears for our violence toward the vulnerable, from the unborn to the aged, the oppressed and trafficked to the hidden abuse in homes.

Today I am crying with joy over the thousands finding Christ each hour, and many believers awakening to this moment of kingdom opportunity.

Tears are not a sign of moral compromise or inner weakness. They are not evidence of sentimentalism. Tears are signs of compassion, empathy and wholeness.

Healing laughter often ends with flowing tears. Deep conviction that leads to repentance is accompanied by cries for mercy, with tears running down the face.

We do not need to make this happen artificially or start a new movement for tears in our services. Authentic works of the Holy Spirit that honor Christ and transform individuals and institutions do not need our manipulative assistance.

If we pray the ancient prayer, “Come, Holy Spirit” and really desire the fullness of the resurrection life of Christ, tears will flow.

Come, Holy Spirit, and baptize us with tears.

The Road Ahead

November 5th, 2012 | Dr. Charlie Self

Our next Administration faces unprecedented challenges and opportunities. Reversing more than half a century of ballooning indebtedness and bloated bureaucracy will be daunting. Transforming health care and retirement plans so they are stable and sustainable will require courage and sacrifice heretofore unknown among politicians. Restoring our global influence and leading the resistance to intolerance and totalitarianism will demand humility, wisdom and moral and military strength. Advocating for life from conception to coronation and affirming compassion for the broken, poor and vulnerable will summon our best character and competencies. Standing with Israel while engaging in honest dialogue with Muslim leaders calls for Solomonic discernment.

Can we chart a fresh direction, revitalizing our founding principles for 21st century realities? Or is it too late and must we “adjust” to a “new world order” and “settle” for less? There is no way forward without pain. The only question is which type of surgery and recovery creates long-term health in the patient we call the United States of America.

There are two dispositions we must eschew and two we must embrace in order to construct a better, more inclusive and prosperous future. First, we must reject fatalism and fear, with their partners dependency and victimhood. Second, we must resist the extremes of hyper-individualism and collectivism. We must reaffirm that liberty is built on virtue and truth embraced by people with freewill. We are responsible for our choices. Yes, there are second chances and opportunities for redemption. There are, however, risks and rewards, positive and negative possibilities with daily decisions. Our future rests on accepting reality and affirming freedom – to fail or succeed. Hyper-individualism forgets that others do contribute to our progress – parents and pastors, coaches, friends and mentors, partners and even competitors are all part of the social reality that makes prosperity possible. The opposite extreme, the “you didn’t build that” collectivism of the last four years (and perhaps longer, truth be told), forgets that the infrastructure that sustains growth is funded by the innovation of the market that produces tax revenue! Remember, the politician’s are playing with our money.

On the positive side, we must embrace hope that is fulfilled by new habits. “Hope and change” only happen with habits and character. Hope is not wishful thinking and new habits begin with new hearts. Will we joyfully embrace the truth that “we are the change” as we diligently work, cheerfully volunteer and sacrificially serve the next generation? Secondly, we must live out the paradox of self-fulfillment through selfless service. Prosperity is adding value to others, not just extracting it. Our material wealth, emotional well-being and fruitful future rest on offering products, services and relationships that honor God and bring good to others. We buy certain products because of their (perceived or real) value. As we participate in the economy, we are stewards of God-given relationships and resources.

As we pray, vote and await the changes ahead, let’s dedicate ourselves to a future founded on character and competence rooted in faith, hope and love. Our salvation is from Christ. Our ultimate future is a gift from the Triune God. But our current life is a partnership with God and people of conscience to forge a loving and just community. “Yes we can” change course and one day look back on a new era of compassion, opportunity and flourishing.