Category Archives: family

Maturity, Please

Our current pop culture encourages permanent adolescence as prurient passions rule over consideration of others and thoughtful actions and words. Children are maturing physically sooner, yet staying immature longer, with many psychosocial experts affirming that the brain – especially of males – only reaches adulthood in the mid-20s. I only wish most in their 20s were adults!

This issue is not physiological development. Our founders did much of their greatest work in their 20s and 30s. The Greatest Generation that persevered through a Dust Bowl and D-Day matured in their teens – they had to work to survive and shed the decade of stupidity that characterizes our contemporary rites of passage.

Maturity includes physiology, but it is not limited by the body. Maturity – true adulthood – is marked by the growing triumph of principle over passion, reason over reaction, ethical choices over temptations and service to others over cheap self-gratification. Biblically, maturity is the Great Commandment (loving God supremely and others sacrificially) expressed by the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) and the virtues of the divine life (II Peter 1:1-10).

Today’s youth are far more capable than we think. The problem is their parents. Too many “adults” are acting like middle school students, exchanging gossip, struggling for acceptance through moral compromise and hoping for popularity at any cost. O wait! this sounds like Washington, D.C. and most media content! Legislative progress requires self-control, principled compromise and the ability to reign in emotion and honestly desire the best for others.

It is time for new icons of virtue. The reason we love Captain America is that he appeals to something beyond ourselves…and even Iron Man follows his lead and willingly serves the cause. We love WWII movies and documentaries because – if only for a moment – so many served at great cost. These fantasy and folk heroes are flawed, but their decisions are sound and point to the heart of maturity – looking beyond ourselves to the Almighty and the good of others.

How do we change our current psychosocial trajectory? One decision, one family, and one relationship at a time. Today let’s open our Bible and turn off the computer. Mom and Dad, decide now that nothing will break your covenant…and if you have kids, your fidelity is the number one factor in their future. Let’s encourage learning, reflection and service and discover the wonder that caring for others fills our own souls with delight.

And by the way, let’s send a message to our city, state and federal public servants: We expect you to be adults and serve the common good. We are watching and we are voting.

A New Day of Integration

While Washington dithers and much of the world wanders, we can decide that 2013 will be a fruitful and meaningful year for ourselves, our families, our communities and – by extension – even our state and nation.

My new book is now out and it contains insights that help thoughtful women and men integrate faith, work and economics into their personal and spiritual growth and help local churches and communities flourish. 2013 is the year that we

  • Stop separating social justice and wealth creation, recognizing that they are partners in human prosperity at all levels.
  • End our disintegrated lives and choose integration of our callings, careers, community life and creative inspirations (special thanks to Brett and Lyn Johnson and their book, Convergence for this quartet of completeness). 
  • Seek out friends new and old and encourage one another’s dreams and visions that contains the seeds of future flourishing.
  • Help thoughtful Democrats and Republicans cease labeling and libeling each other and begin partnering for balanced budgets, new efficiencies and wise stewardship of resources so that the poor and vulnerable are cared for and our children’s futures are secure.
  • Attend funerals for nostalgia and utopianism and celebration events for first/founding principles and substantive hope rooted in timeless truths and timely observations. 
I remain unapologetically hopeful. I posses no fantasies of the days of yore or Star Trek solutions. I believe that God is working through loving and prayerful people willing to be answers to their own petitions.
The link here provides the information on my new work – an effort that arises from collaboration with so many great men and women. The Acton Institute (www.acton.org) is leading the charge for integration and I am honored  by the appointment as a senior advisor. Yes, my name is on the cover; however, my deepest desires are the glory of God and the good of others.  www.acton.org 

The Power of Our Choices

With less than one month of electioneering remaining, the battles intensify as all the candidates at every level begin their sprint to the finish line. Beyond the elected offices are thousands of local and state propositions. It can be overwhelming, but it is a historical privilege to have a real say in our future. Please get informed, pray often and vote! Our choices matter and the future of our nation rests upon responsible, virtuous citizens exercising their God-given and Constitutionally guaranteed rights.

But there is even more power in other choices we make. Who we elect is not the most important factor in our destiny. Both conservatives and progressives are concerned about our future, often for similar reasons. Conservatives are deeply troubled by the ever-expanding reach of the federal government. Progressives bemoan the increasing gaps between rich and poor. Conservatives see under performing schools and agitate for vouchers. Progressives see the same realities and opt for increased public funding. Economic uncertainly is the concern of all, with each group offering different solutions, but no one is in denial that we need change. Conservatives are deeply uncomfortable with a foreign policy that tries to accommodate enemies dedicated to our demise. Progressives want to change perceptions of America and express more humility and interconnectedness. Both groups eschew intolerance and want to minimize violence.

There are choices we can make that will alter our national trajectory, even if we keep arguing on many public policy matters. Here are a few that may unite us instead of divide us further:

  • Apart from abuse, adultery and abandonment, we can stay married and serve our children. This is the single greatest factor for future success and stability, trumping economics and education. We can make sure our children arrive at school ready to learn.
  • We can offer our companies, families and communities a full day’s work, with good motives and ethical-relational integrity.
  • We can do business with the aim of adding value instead of extracting it from others.
  • We can balance our own checkbooks and hold public officials responsible for how they spend the people’s money. (Yes, we will still argue over how to spend it – the key is not spending more than we take in!) 
  • We can defend the poor, broken and vulnerable, from conception to coronation.
  • We can offer our time to help others instead of just agitating. The victims of social evils need friends as well as money and professional help.
  • We can look for ways to create wealth, not just redistribute current assets.
  • We can add beauty to the world by voluntarily celebrating and supporting the arts. Not every effort needs a government subsidy.
  • We can make friends with our neighbors.
  • If we turn off technology and get physically active, we are contributing to reducing health care costs without spending any money.
  • Our prayers matter to God and the future of the planet.
  • We can pray for the peace of Jerusalem. Affirming Israel’s right to exist as a beacon of democracy and supporting a new democratic Palestinian nation dedicated to peace is the only way forward.
  • We can make some new friends across cultural and generational lines. It will be fun to eat new foods, understand new ways of seeing the world and build a virtuous consensus in our communities.
  • We can reject hatred even while we critique choices and ideas. Every person we meet is made in God’s image.

Our nation’s future depends upon the mercy of God and the choices of millions of “regular” people. We can end the pernicious influence of pornography – there is an “off” button! We can reduce abortions by loving those already pregnant and helping the unmarried see the wisdom of waiting. By the way, the fathers need to own up to their part in this process! Civility is not passivity or just being sweet. Civility is looking for connections and choosing respect over rejection, affirmation over anger and forging new agreements when possible instead of picking up our toys and leaving the conversations.

At first, these choices seem self-evident and simplistic; however, actually living this way is a challenge. Sometimes there are addictions and traumas requiring extra care. We must not have contempt for those that struggle. But we must affirm the struggle! In our world of deep wounds and pernicious narcissism, the way of civility and service is rarely navigated easily. But it is worth our effort to offer succeeding generations a world worth enjoying.