Tag Archives: discipleship

We Know Better, Part Two

June 7th, 2023 | Dr. Charlie Self

The majority of people around us glance at headlines, read some favorite posts, and then go about their hard-working days, offering their skills in service of others, providing for their families, and finding moments of community service and leisure when they can. If pressed on some of the blaring headlines, many shake their heads and assume that most people know better than to take “social influencers” and political extremists seriously.

There is one problem with this simplistic view: the shrieking voices are only the front for real people and networks that aim for power over the populace and remaking their world in their image.

We know better…but often feel powerless. Here are some hot issues that seem to have few answers:

Caring for our environment is good and needed, but climate activism is a cover for trillions in wealth transfer from middle-and working-class people to huge autocracies that desire control over food and energy.

The gender anarchy mentioned in last week’s essay is framed as human rights, but the real agenda is the destruction of the nuclear family and government oversight of children.

“White supremacy” does have some adherents, and must be condemned at every turn. Other forms of intolerance are given a pass, however, and pathways to reconciliation and peace are undermined as grievance culture offers no forgiveness, redemption, or hope for an end to hatred.

We know better, and there is a way forward. Here are some principles that thoughtful women and men can embrace with a view to flourishing communities:

First, everyone we meet is created in God’s image and has value. This is the starting point for the mutual love and respect that are essential in a pluralistic society. With very rare exceptions, each is also biologically male or female. This does not limit liberty, but liberates identity.

Second, the pursuit of truth in noble and not merely subjective. Whether it is historical knowledge, scientific research, journalistic inquiry, or critical thinking, humble, relentless pursuit of wisdom is needed. Truth exists outside our perceptions and we will always be building on previous centuries of discovery.

So far, we have touched on essential categories of anthropology (the universals of being human) and epistemology (the nature of knowing).

Third, we can find common virtues and values that help us work for the common good, even as we debate ideologies, philosophies, and religious convictions. Such first principles include freedom of conscience/religion, access to education and economic opportunities, strengthening biological and blended families, and a commitment to universal virtues such as kindness, patience, tolerance, and thoughtfulness.

Fourth, we must reject labeling and libeling persons while we debate serious issues. Reversion to profanities and vulgarities obscures serious inquiry. We must learn to process our reactions and turn them into considered responses. This does not mean turning away from obvious evils.

Fifth, we must reaffirm what is appropriate for children and what is best left to adulthood. Until the last decade, the boundaries were quite clear. Now we see public perversion celebrated and themes that were only for adults being imposed on children. There is no place for grooming, trafficking, and propagandizing vulnerable children and youth.

Sixth, we must start decentralizing federal power in the West and restoring administrative oversight to local and state governments. We need universal ethics but local stewardship that is accountable. We must rediscover subsidiarity – the notion that responsibility begins with the individual in a family, then families in voluntary community (church, synagogue, etc.), then local governance, then state governance, and only as a last resort, federal oversight. We must reverse the Leviathan of central control that has been growing exponentially for the last 100 years.

Seventh, all of the above rest on integration of personal agency, helpful relationships, moral systems, and goodwill. In other words, we must see each other as whole persons in community, with spiritual, emotional, relational, vocational, and economic facets of life woven together. For more of this vision, see our new book, Life in 5D: A New Vision of Discipleship available at www.discipleshipdynamics.com.

We know better. We can do better. There is hope. And today’s deep thinking and disciplined action will build a better destiny for ourselves and all around us.

A Special Update and Invitation from Dr Charlie Self

April 18th, 2022 | Dr. Charlie Self

Dear friends and readers,
It has been too long since I have posted. We have been in several transitions with family (two new grandbabies – Yay!) and work (I am advising, authoring two books, speaking and teaching and looking for more opportunities since leaving Made to Flourish as of November 1, 2021), so my focus has been on several arenas other than my own website.

In the coming weeks, my co-authors and I will publish a new book: Life in 5-D that will transform how the church and thoughtful people see Christian discipleship and personal wholeness. This work is rooted in the Discipleship Dynamics Assessment ™ that is gaining momentum among leaders and organizations (see the site here: www.discipleshipdynamics.com). The pandemic and accelerating cultural changes are demanding a reimagining of discipleship and mission for the local church, Christian ministries and thoughtful followers of Jesus. We covet your prayers as the editing and layout are completed.

The second book, Thoughtful, will be published later this year and represents twenty years of observation and reflection, research and writing. In this book, I present a four-step pathway from reaction to response as we navigate life, social issues, and living peaceably with deep differences in a contentious culture.

I am preparing TED-style talks based on both books and I believe these works will help bridge many divides as well as call people to a flourishing life found in Christ.

Here is my invitation: Will you consider doing three things that will help our mission?

– First, will you pray for us? This is not a cliché – it is the fuel of all effective work for our Lord.

– Second, will you please share your thoughts on issues you desire me to cover in in future blogs and books? I do not want to be answering questions no one is asking! You can email me directly at drcharlieself1959@icloud.com.

– And third, will you consider a gift that will help all this happen? Please note the “support” button on the website. We need patrons that believe in this mission of flourishing and thoughtfulness. Your gifts are tax-deductible and will help us serve many organizations and leaders that lack funds for contracts.

Our current cultural conflicts center around three issues: 1) A lack of reverence before the Almighty and the crafting of idols to suit our pleasures, with erotic passions displacing unselfish love. 2) Deliberate perversion what it means to be humans made in God’s image and created male and female. We will address this dehumanizing vision head-on in future posts. 3) A crisis of knowledge as people refuse to debate issues with civility, banning or canceling those that diverge from their preferred narratives.

Thank you, thoughtful friends for caring deeply and working decisively for the common good. Easter is the reason I am hope-filled and I trust you will find peace and renewal as you ponder the victory of the resurrection of Jesus.

A Peaceful Revolution in Discipleship: Living in 5-D

February 19th, 2020 | Dr. Charlie Self

Praying for a peaceful revolution in Christian discipleship, with millions of “ordinary” believers awakening to God’s presence and power in the midst of daily life. It is possible to enjoy God, become more whole, have healthy relationships, live with purpose, and do today’s tasks as worship. We have more resources than ever before for growth, but often see believers living emaciated lives. We need a fresh vision of “normal” that can inspire hope and propel institutional and personal transformation. Thank God for all our fine pastors and good resources. But there is an “Aha!” moment that must capture our imaginations for real progress.

Here is the revolutionary key: reconceiving the Christian life in terms of dimensions and outcomes instead of categories and classes is the key to fruitfulness. Sermons and Sunday schools, Bible studies and small groups, online and print programs: all of these are the means to a desired end, not the end in themselves! Check out this special Assessment for further understanding: www.discipleshipdynamics.com.

Life is dimensional and integrated, not just a “to do list” of boxes to be checked (yes, it is good to order our day’s activities!). The challenge for each person is understanding what “there” looks like. In other words, what are we aiming for, in principled and practical terms? Hebrews 13:7 offers this advice: “Consider the outcome of their (spiritual leaders) way of life and imitate their faith (both belief and action).” The next verse says, “Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.”

Being a follower of Christ means imitation Jesus’ attitudes and actions, dispositions and disciplines, with a desire to love God, love our neighbor and make more disciples from every culture. What does this look like in real life? There are five dimensions to our lives that are all part of God’s plan and therefore they are all “spiritual” there is no sacred/secular divide, no separation of Sunday ecstasies and Monday’s ethics. Here are the five dimensions:

Loving God with all our being: enjoying and growing in intimacy with the Trinity. This is true spiritual formation and includes all the classical disciples of prayer and Bible study, church attendance and Sabbath-rest, etc.
Personal wholeness is an organic fruit of true intimacy with God. We lean to overcome our painful history with hope, manage our negative emotions, see ourselves as loved by God, forgive others and discover inner peace.
Healthy relationships are the implication of “loving our neighbor as ourselves.” This include healthy boundaries, sexual purity, good friendships and much more…think of all the great “one another” texts of the Bible.
Vocational clarity is the fulfillment of Ephesians 2:10: we are designed for a purpose and we are always more than our current job. Knowing our natural and spiritual gifts, the dignity of our labor and serving with humility should inform our lives daily.
All of these dimensions are worked out as we live in a world of economics and work each day! Whether paid or unpaid, labor or leadership, private or public, almost everyone spends their waking hours actively doing something. This is not our secular life nor are our activities merely a means to an end…our work matters to God.

Imagine millions of God-fearing friends awakening to the fullness of God’s intentions and offering all daily activity as worship to God. Imagine seamless integration of evangelism and compassion, for-profit and non-profit efforts, and prayer and the pursuit of justice. A peaceful and powerful revolution indeed.

Becoming Human: Agape, Eros and Gender Confusion

February 17th, 2015 | Dr. Charlie Self

I have a special request of my readers: please read the entire essay before assuming certain conclusions. This is one of my most vulnerable pieces. I offer these thoughts as a fellow-learner, the judge of no one’s heart and the (moment-by-moment) recipient of God’s mercy in Christ.

“Gender is a social construction.” (A 1970s and 1980s mantra on most public universities)

“[Heterosexual] Intercourse is socially-sanctioned rape” (Andrea Dworkin)

“A woman is only complete when serving her husband.” (Amish saying)

“Gender is fluid and our laws should reflect changing preferences.” (A California legislator commenting on a law that allows students to choose any bathroom based on their current perception of gender.)

“I have a right to sex without consequences.” (A Silicon Valley entrepreneur to author in 2008)

“How dare you deprive any person of a loving relationship! Your are a symbol of hate.” (A stranger speaking to the author in a forum supporting traditional marriage in California Proposition 8)

“Christianity has not been tried an found wanting. It has been found difficult and rarely tried.” (G.K. Chesterton)

A Culture of Confusion

From employment applications to income taxes, from plane tickets to passports, DNA tests and the “gender assigned at birth,” there are two categories that traditionally categorize humankind: Female and Male. Yet the Western (and increasingly, the globally connected) world(s) are locked in fierce battles over gender identity. Without exaggeration, we are moving toward “50 shades of gender.”

Anyone affirming the “simplistic” position of one humanity-two genders is now publicly denigrated. LGBTQ activists, drawing upon previous generations’ marginalization (and terrible persecution) of their preferences, have capitalized on their oppressed status and created a climate that marginalizes the deepest convictions of many religions and societies. Biblically thoughtful Christians find themselves in crossfire between compassion and conviction, pluralistic public policy and principled ideals in the faith community. (And why does Islam get a “pass” from Western progressives for their misogyny and oppression of gays?)

Biblical anthropology affirms the egalitarian unity and uniqueness of women and men (Gen. 1:26-28; 5:1-2; Gal. 3:28ff). The Bible’s narrative descriptions of the functions, roles and status of women and men are not theological prescriptions. Too often in church history, the stories of fallen human cultures have perverted the Creator’s intent (Mt. 19). Conversely, the Scriptures are replete with inspiring poetry, prophecy and story extolling the virtues of women and men that fear the Lord and serve their neighbor.

Gender confusion is part of the fall. As such, it calls for compassion and courage, holiness and humility as we sort out godly responses. It is vital for thoughtful followers of Jesus not to be swayed by either narrow Biblicism (in which our interpretation of texts fails to unlock the richness of those texts) or facile scientism that declares, “the debate is over” while referencing very biased studies.¹

We must discern the difference between Scriptural precept, pastoral care and public policy. Christians are deeply divided concerning the church’s strategies for public influence. They often alternate between fundamentalist and progressive disengagement and conservative and liberal activism. Gender identity and the correlating issues of family structure, the nurture of children and the roles of church and state are critical to the future our communities and the planet. A mediating prophetic position allows for moral and spiritual suasion on legislation while accepting “internal exile” when the culture refuses to listen to truth.

How do we properly interpret the Bible and listen to the Spirit concerning kingdom understanding of gender?

Sorting it out

We are human beings made in God’s image with a job to do. We fulfill our calling as men and women. The most important thing about a person is their dignity and worth as a human being. This is prior to their current perceptions of orientation! One of the tragedies of the past 40 years is reducing human persons to their erotic proclivities and missing all the other facets of their being that make them gifts to God’s world.

The Scriptures are not ambiguous about gender identity and sexual behavior, even if they do not address in detail why people feel the way they do. From Creation to Consummation, sexual intimacy is ideally experienced in an exclusive, heterosexual, life-long monogamous relationship that is symbolic of God’s deep love for his people (Hosea; Eph. 5:18-33; Rev. 19). Simply stated, single men and women are called to celibacy and married couples to fidelity. Singleness is not a defect or deficiency, but a state of being that itself anticipates the fullness of the kingdom, where traditional marriage gives way to the Bride and Bridegroom in unity and sisters and brothers forever worshiping and working with joy.

Apart from very rare biological/genetic factors in some people, there are no natural markers that determine lesbian, gay or bisexual orientations. This is not to dismiss the 2-4% of the adult USA population that testifies to lifelong same-sex attraction. (The best research features adults over 25 due to adolescent development and experimentation). The moral and social ambiguities of those that reject biblical norms are not based on either timeless truth or empirical data, but personal passions and psychosocial needs. These must not be dismissed or distorted.

The Heart of the Matter: Agape and Eros

Gender confusion, apart from the amoral and immoral satisfaction of momentary lusts (heterosexual and homosexual immorality), arises from ignorance of the distinction between two human “loves” – Agape and Eros.

Joined with Phileo (sibling affection and loyalty), Agape and Eros are divinely given dimensions of human affection and action. Agape is self-donating loyal-love, rooted in the Hebrew concept of hesed – Yahweh’s covenant loyalty to his people and call for reciprocation in response to grace (Hosea). Eros is the love of mutual attraction and need and it drives sexual urges toward fulfillment, though it is more than a sexual drive. Within marriage, Eros brings mutual delight to covenant partners (Prov. 6-7; Song of Songs 4).

Agape is the word that best describes the entire Christ-event – God’s ultimate self-donation and revelation. “God so loved, that he gave…” “We love him, because he first loved us…” “For the joy set before him he endured the cross…” Agape is affection and action for the best of others. It is the fullest expression of the Triune Life of God, who forever exists as a divine dance of joyous self-donation.

Agape shapes all facets of Christian discipleship. From the Great Commandment of Mt. 22:38-40 to the New Commandment of John 13:1-6, 34-35, Agape love calls forth service that is rooted in the security of God’s affection and action. Luther once said that because of God’s justifying grace, believers now love their neighbors from the heart, because they are secure in Christ’s love.

Both of these loves, like all divine virtues, are perverted by sin. Even Agape can devolve into co-dependent and self-destructive pathways. Eros inverts from marital joy to one-night stands, from attraction to narcissism.

Concomitant with these disturbing trends is the “serial monogamy” that affects much of modern culture. Partners are kept one at a time, but left when they “grow apart.” When gay activists advocate for marriage laws, they hold out a monogamous ideal that does not reflect their own practices and, alas, the practices of much of the West’s post-Christian heterosexual culture. Notions of self-fulfillment focusing on present needs rather than the good of future generations often subvert even professing Christians.

What we must NOT do

As Christians wisely navigate these turbulent waters, there are particular attitudes and actions that must not characterize a kingdom approach. While we reserve the right to disagree with the choices people make, the following are serious missteps we should avoid in and out of our church communities:

We are not attempting to reify any “good old days” or prosecute adults for private behaviors we disagree with.
We are not reducing people to their erotic passions.
We refuse to caricature or stereotype maleness or femaleness.
We are not against adults having legal protections forming partnerships.
We are not denying how people feel.

Some ways forward

A kingdom response to this confusion and conflict calls us to consider three arenas of concern. The first is clarity about Scriptural teaching and our willingness to obey even when it is hard. There is no ambiguity about the biblical ideal of celibacy for singles and heterosexual, monogamous marital fidelity. The Bible is replete with stories of the fallen behaviors of even its greatest heroes, but this does not change the standard. We must also affirm masculinity and femininity biblically, not with cultural icons. As a church, we woefully fail to present the full spectrum of expression blessed by the Creator. Without homogenizing everyone or forgetting that it takes two to make a baby, we can liberate people toward their full humanity.

Second, we must exercise great compassion and wisdom in our pastoral care and discipleship of women and men seeking to please Jesus and wrestle with their deepest passions. Our aim is always loving, holy and joyful conformity to the image of Christ, with deep appreciation for the ways of God. 2 We have non-traditional households and children of LGBTQ parents, divorced and remarried heterosexuals and all manner of personal past sins and traumas present in our communities. Our calling forth celibacy and fidelity within biblical norms must remain while we nurture love for Christ, healing for hurts and a theological anthropology offering a new identity in Christ.

Third, in our prophetic public role, we must lead a discussion for the common good with three questions in mind:

What principles and practices must be prohibited for safety and well-being?
What principles and practices are permitted, even if people differ deeply?
What principles and practices should we promote for human flourishing?

Prohibit, permit and promote. It is time for robust debate with civility and humility. Christians should expect persecution the moment they affirm truth in any category (Mt. 5). We should embrace persecution for obedience, not obnoxiousness. Even when many radically differ with us, they should recognize the spirit of love in our actions and communications.

Concerning non-traditional gender identity, gay marriage and alternative lifestyles, believers can present a nuanced and uncompromising public stance. We can uphold our understanding of truth while affirming liberty (this is the permitting category) for those that make other choices. The problem today is that anyone that does not promote alternatives as acceptable is considered “heterosexist” “intolerant” or worse. It is interesting that the LGBTQ activists never attack the other great religions; they only criticize Christians and some Jewish traditions. Practically speaking, allowance for domestic partnerships and civil unions make prudential sense in a pluralistic society. We do not need to agree with such arrangements as equal to our biblical ideal, but living with our deepest differences is the cost of liberty.

What prohibitions should be part of our public stance? Will we continue to stand against incest, adult-minor sex, polygamy, pornography, serial monogamy and one-night stands? Will we partner with people of conscience against all forms of dehumanization and exploitation?

Finally, what should we be promoting? Beginning with our own communities, we must reaffirm the joy and seriousness of biblical marriage and childrearing. We must disciple better all that desire marriage and family. We must not capitulate to quick divorce and remarriage when life is hard (apart from abuse, adultery and utter abandonment, of course). Promoting healthy singleness and weaning all believers from hyper-eroticism are important tasks. In public we work with all people of conscience to nurture the next generation with healthy male and female role models. Let’s celebrate women and men of diverse gifts and personalities, interests and skills.

In writing this piece, I am vulnerable to misperception. Yet these issues must be examined in a spirit of humility and love. I have worked with and am friends with people of all orientations and persuasions. They are my sisters and brothers in the human family. I have seen many find freedom in Christ and change their orientation. Others love Christ and choose celibacy (both heterosexual and homosexual men and women), with varying levels of struggle. I must make a covenant with my eyes and heart each day and walk in agape toward all persons. I am the judge of no one’s salvation or sanctification. With hope and tears, I pray that we can all move toward personal wholeness and community shalom as we await the fullness of God’s reign.

Notes

Sound summaries of recent research may be found in Stanton L. Jones (January 2012) “Sexual orientation and reason: on the implications of false beliefs about homosexuality,” digitally published at www.christianethics.org; an abbreviation of this essay was published as “Same-sex science” in First Things, February, 2012, pp. 27-33. Jones is the Provost and Professor of Psychology at Wheaton College, IL (USA).
For some challenging and comforting pastoral reflections, examine Kent Paris, Means of Grace. College Press Publishing Company, Inc. 2010. Kent’s insights are found at www.nehemiahonline.com.